You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
