So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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