you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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