I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
