so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
