I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
