she was so not down for the gang bang
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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