What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
