my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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