Do you still have your period?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
