i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
