i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
