what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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