Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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