you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
