Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
