why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
