You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
