would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
