It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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