Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
