Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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