I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
