I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
