Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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