Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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