Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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