You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
