A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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