ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
