there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
