when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
