come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
