Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
