Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
