thus making me awesome and them whores
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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