Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is wine microwaveable?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
