So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
