but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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