a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
