Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
