Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The feeling are messing with the penis
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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