I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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