So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
