Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
