hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
