That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
