youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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