your parents love me but you hate me
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
