i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
