How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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