We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
